Life can change in an instant. An accident, an earthquake, a fire—disaster doesn’t announce itself, and when it strikes, there’s rarely time to think. That’s why many people keep a “go bag” ready: a packed kit they can grab and walk out the door with at a moment’s notice.
One woman did exactly that, and most would call it sensible. But when her husband discovered it, he read it as a sign that she didn’t fully trust him or their marriage. The bag, to him, meant she was always half-ready to leave. Hurt and convinced the relationship was built on shaky ground, he turned to Reddit to announce he was considering divorce over it.
Having a “go bag” ready for emergencies is widely considered a smart move
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But for one husband, discovering his wife had one at home sent him straight to the edge of divorce
Image credits: Andrew Neel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Having a “go bag” can save a person’s life
Those who have heard about the concept of a “go bag” might be aware that it’s not only packed in case of natural disasters or accidents but can be an important safety precaution in abusive relationships. Of course, most people don’t expect to end up in one. However, it can be tricky to avoid it, as violent individuals tend to be on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship.
Unfortunately, occurrences of violence in relationships are more common than some might think. On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by their partner in the US. This equates to more than 10 million women and men a year.
A person with a history of such relationships might also feel the need to keep a “go bag” even though they have moved on and currently have a healthy bond with their significant other.
A team of husband and wife, Charley and Tracy Vega, are experts in violence prevention and survival, and they made it their mission to educate people when to grab a bag and go. They run a self-defensive workshop, “Simple Self Defense for Women,” where they make safety easy by teaching people to escape an attack instead of staying and fighting.
The Vegas say those in abusive relationships need to be prepared in advance and keep this type of bag packed. The contents of it may mean the difference between life and death. The starting line is to gather important paperwork, like a copy of an ID, passport, Social Security card, driver’s license—anything that shows where you’re currently living.
Image credits: City of Marysville, WA (not the actual photo)
There is more to packing a “go bag” than meets the eye
They also recommend leaving personal cell phones behind and keeping a prepaid disposable one in the bag, as they are more difficult to track. Having cash on hand can help in case you need to go to a hotel or get a taxi. In addition, it’s also a good idea to include a spare key to the car and the house and keep essentials for the family in there.
The Vegas suggest that another smart thing to do is to pack some of the abuser’s things inside. In case they discover it, you can call it an emergency kit for natural disasters. But if it’s possible to leave it to someone you trust—that would be the safest option.
Ellen Siler, the CEO of Hubbard House, a shelter for victims of domestic abuse, urges people to leave copies of some of the things outside the home. If they are taken by a violent partner and those documents were your only ones, you’re back to square one.
The Vagas also note that women should be aware of “tracker apps” installed on their phones without their consent. Which just adds another reason to leave it behind.
None of the readers took the man’s side
