“Men don’t grow up, they just get bigger.” “Boys will be boys.” These familiar quotes cynically suggest that men don’t achieve emotional maturity as they age. While it isn’t true of the entire male population, many carry this undesirable trait that appears to have driven their partners up the wall.
This woman seemed to have met her fair share of immature men, which led her to post a rather lengthy rant online. She pointed out behaviors such as weaponized incompetence, various forms of gaslighting, and a seeming inability to communicate effectively.
Her post created quite a discussion, as many other women shared their experiences.
Some men can be difficult romantic partners
Image credits: volodymyr-t/Freepik (not the actual photo)
This woman wrote about these challenges in a lengthy post, pointing out the male traits she finds problematic
Image credits: simonapillola/Freepik (not the actual photo)
She shared her personal experiences, as well as the issues some of her friends encountered
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
She ended her post by venting her frustrations
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Fear of commitment is one typical cause of Peter Pan Syndrome
Most of the traits the woman described in her post are signs of Peter Pan Syndrome. As the name suggests, it’s a behavior typically associated with men, in which they seem to struggle to effectively transition into adulthood.
Some of its manifestations may include difficulty accepting responsibility, blaming others for their problems, and an inability to express emotions.
That then begs the question, what causes this annoying behavior? According to psychologist Dr. Mark Travers, one of them is the fear of commitment.
“For some, commitment feels less like a meaningful connection and more like a loss of freedom,” Dr. Travers wrote in an article for Forbes. He adds that this reluctance to commit may stem from a deep-seated fear of being tied down to one person, along with their desire to keep their options open.
Image credits: Stockbusters/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Dr. Travers also noted that people who struggle with Peter Pan Syndrome may avoid serious conversations about the future, while also keeping themselves away from major obligations. He adds that these people will instead prefer “undefined” relationships where there is intimacy but without the responsibility that comes with it.
According to the Gottman Institute, unhealthy relationships are a typical outcome of immaturity from one partner, in this case, men. Contempt is another side effect, and what was described as the “#1 predictor” of breakups.
If you’re a woman dealing with an immature man as a partner, licensed psychotherapist Dr. Marni Feuerman advises being honest with yourself about whether your needs are being met.
“If your partner is unwilling to do the work they need to do to become a more mature and emotionally available partner, you might find that the relationship is no longer healthy or satisfying for you,” Dr. Feuerman wrote.
Many people in the comments sympathized with her and shared similar experiences
Others shared candid opinions
